Defending The Hobbit Trilogy (The Battle of the Five Armies Edition)

Before we start this there are people who can't work out who the "Five Armies" are in this movie. Seriously, What. The. Fuck?! Army number one: Thranduil's army. Army number 2: Dain's army. Army number 3: Bard's army. Army number 4: Azog's army. Army number 5: Bolg's army. Honestly folks, they're right there!!! Maybe they're confused by the book, I dunno...

Anyway, we've come to the final installment of "Defending The Hobbit Trilogy". The Battle of the Five Armies left many critics cold: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_hobbit_the_battle_of_the_five_armies/?search=battle  but for me and many others, it is the strongest entry. The lukewarm critical response didn't hurt the box office though with nearly $1bn taken in ticket returns. There's much to love here, starting with the destruction of Laketown...

                                                      "I am Fire, I am Death"
The Desolation of Smaug ended with one very pissed off dragon hell bent on the destruction of Laketown. As I stated in the previous blog, I was not a big fan of Laketown and I cannot lie, there was somewhat of a perverse enjoyment in watching Smaug absolutely decimate the place. The cinematic experience of the scene was quite something. I went to see it on our IMAX screen and it felt like I was part of a really terrifying theme park ride. I then saw it in 2D where I felt like I was bearing witness to the destruction and that, while different, was way more emotionally impactful. Smaug's wrath is "swift and terrible". Bard manages to escape prison and make for one of the few towers still standing in Laketown. Armed with a bow and arrow, he repeatedly hits the dragon but is having little effect. His son appears with the last black arrow in town and of course, against all odds, Bard takes down Smaug with the kind of one in a million shot that heretofore was reserved for Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars. Fire and death indeed, Smaug's last living moments are interesting. He flies high and is desperately clinging to life. There's a look of shock and panic in his eye and then... there isn't. His descent is beautifully shot and PJ's dark humour ends the scene as the doomed beast lands on Laketown's greedy master. Avarice killing him as much as the dragon and this is a running theme throughout this movie.

                                              Bilbo, Bargaining, Burgling and Bonding
Battle of the Five Armies features many huge scenes of destruction, horror, bravery and valour. These scenes would mean nothing if the characters involved weren't likeable. It is Bilbo Baggins who keeps this movie grounded. His love for and admiration of Thorin is obvious. He loves him so much that he is forced to betray him. Having burgled the Arkenstone from Smaug he hands it over to Thranduil hoping he will bargain with Thorin and bring an end to war before it begins. This scene is dripping with humour and Thranduil reminding Bilbo of his actions in the Elven realm is wonderful. He is both annoyed and impressed by the hobbit. Bard is just impressed. It is a valiant but doomed effort and Thorin's response to finding out what Bilbo has done is heart wrenching. He cannot believe Bilbo would steal from him. Of course Thorin is deep in "Dragon sickness".  He cannot see that Bilbo is trying to save Thorin from himself. He is devastated when Thorin tries to kill him. A clearly upset Bilbo escapes but his love for Thorin never diminishes. Thorin gets a chance to apologise to Bilbo at the end of the movie and it is heartbreaking. Again, the emotional impact of these scenes are what keep me watching. I love the grandiose spectacle and the camera moving in ways I never thought possible but it is the relationships that keep me invested. Bilbo and Thorin's friendship is a beautiful thing that stays with you long after the movie ends.

                                                             "Leave Sauron To Me"  
There's a scene pretty early on in this movie which is loved and loathed in equal measure by fans. Radagast has managed to get word to Galadrial that all is not well in Dol Guldur. By the time she gets there, Gandalf is about to be executed. She saves a barely conscious Gandalf but is set upon by the nine Nazgul. Luckily, Galadrial is joined by Elrond and Saruman leading to a wonderful fight sequence. Elrond and Saruman deal with the nine... until Sauron makes himself known. There is a very subtle piece of acting by Christopher Lee when he appears. You can see fear in the white wizard's eyes and his body language is almost cowering. Radagast is about to get Gandalf out of harm's way but he has Galadrial's hand (remember the scene they shared in first movie) and he asks her to come with him. She is clearly tempted but manages to refuse the charms of the grey pilgrim. Radagast gets him out of Dol Guldur and Galadrial fucking loses her shit. She goes all "Ringu" and in a spectacular show of strength she banishes Sauron to the east. Saruman orders Elrond to take her to Lothlorien as she is severely weakend by the encounter. The scene ends with Saruman's foreboding words: "Leave Sauron to me"... yeah that's gonna go well! I'll always remember my wife's words the first time we saw that scene together: "that was awesome". I wholeheartedly agree and I'm not really sure what people have against the scene, nor do I care. It's so great seeing these characters actually doing something as apposed to talking about doing something.

                                                         Framing The Five Armies
One of the issues critics had with this movie in particular was the use of CGI. Viggo Mortenson recently came out against the use of CGI and before slating The Hobbit he spoke of its use in the Rings movies: "The second movie already started ballooning, for my taste, and then by the third one, there were a lot of special effects. It was grandiose, and all that, but whatever was subtle, in the first movie, gradually got lost in the second and third." Subtlety?! How the fuck would you have filmed the charge of the Rohirrim in Return of the King? Or the charge of the Olyphaunts? This isn't Braveheart! There are creatures and vast numbers involved in these battles! I suppose you'd have used an actual giant spider for Shelob too, yeah? But we're here to defend The Hobbit and the armies look truly stunning here. Again, I'm not sure what the alternative to this is and I think it all looks amazing:

                                                   
                                                     Leaders of the Five Armies
Thranduil: Thranduil is never anything less than awesome. He and his Elf army are sure of themselves. Defeat is not an option. Thranduil's skill in battle are immense. Seated on his elk he slices through Orcs like they are going out of fashion. But he also plays the pragmatist in this movie. Gandalf, for all his good intentions has brought this doom on Middle Earth. "You started this Mithrandir, you will forgive me if I finish it". Gandalf has no response because it's true. He also has to let Legolas go which is hard for him and you can see it in his eyes. "Your mother loved you Legolas, more than anyone, more than life". Coming from Thranduil it carries so much weight and it is a sad moment. He also has to suffer the Tauriel/Kili horribleness at the end of the movie. It's not as bad as the hate it's getting from some but it is a bit over the top. Thranduil's sympathy for Tauriel is palpable and you feel like he will take her back to the realm and help her come back to herself. Lee Pace was perfect casting by the film makers and I absolutely love what he brought to the character.
Azog the Defiler: Oh Azog. I just adore him. There's no layers here. There's no moments of reflection. There's just a really bad Orc who wants your blood and he wants it now. Tactically, he doesn't make any errors in the battle. He usues his forces very well and holds Bolg's army back as an ace up the sleeve. It should have worked. But you cannot legislate for the heart of a Hobbit or the stubborness of a Dwarf. Manu Bennet was the man they chose to play Azog. I think he made what could have been a stock villain, highly memorable. Props must also go to the fx crew for adding their layers of menace to Azog, including his Warg. Amazing!
Bard: Bard is a nice sort of chap. Tough and gallant. Firm but fair. Alas he is just ever so slightly boring. He never says anything surprising and always takes the high road. He leads his men with a quiet dignity and the Elven King takes a shine to him but there's not really anything more to say about the chap... he's nice.
Dain: Dain is cousin to Thorin and is your typical loud mouth Dwarf who is happiest putting an axe into an enemy. There's not a lot of screen time for him but what we get is fun and watching him headbutt all around him, while cheesy, is also amusing. He's not as inspiring as Thorin but I'd rather have a pint with him if you get me.
Bolg: Bolg is like "diet Azog". His job is to bring a second Orc army in to clean up after Azog's does its damage. He also gets embroiled in a conflict with Legolas, leading to some excellent fight sequences. He doesn't lack for guts but he's not the brightest spark. His death scene never ceases to make me laugh.
                                                     Battles, Loss and Redemption
Given the title of this movie, the actual war had to deliver. While it doesn't reach Two Towers levels of awesome, it's still a roaring success. There are many standout moments, may favourite being the moment the Elves and the Dwarves join together in spectacular fashion to take on the approaching Orcs. Thranduil is, for me, the baddest of the bunch. He takes more lives than the fucking plague in this movie and I'm actually sad he wasn't in Lord of the Rings. Trolls are also used to thunderous effect. Remember this guy:

If you can't find humour in the above clip I feel sorry for you. Earth eaters, wargs and bats all make appearences and it's just thrilling cinema. The bats are brought in to help Azog but actually end up doing more harm than good as Legolas uses one to help him get back in the fight. Legolas has long been a gravity defier and he's on top form here. If you can buy him taking down an Olyphaunt single handedly, there's no reason to doubt his trickery here. He's a killing machine and he learns from his battle with Bolg in Laketown and uses this knowledge to kill the Orc.

Finally, Thorin shakes off the Dragon sickness and emerges from the mountain to save Dain's army and the remaining Elves from certain death. Kili, Fili and Dwalin then follow Thorin up the mountain to go after Azog directly. There's a lot of loss in this battle and it is sad to see Kili and Fili fall. But my focus is always on Thorin. He was always going to be put in front of Azog and they were going to fight to the death. Again, it needed to deliver the goods and I'm pleased to say it does. Azog looks in control for most of the fight but Thorin has beaten him before by using his wits and his courage. The same thing happens here to a degree. Using Azog's enormous mace as a counter weight on the ice is a genius move, a genuinely surprising twist in the fight. Eventually Azog kills Thorin but in doing so at such close quarters, he's within Thorin's range. So while Thorin doesn't win the fight he makes damn sure Azog doesn't either and they die together. It is at this point that Bilbo appears. He runs to his dying friend and Thorin, though dying is so happy to see him. It's such a sad scene. Thorin tells Bilbo he is sorry and Bilbo's heart breaks. His friend is dying and there's nothing he can do... Unbelievably sad, right up there with any of the sad moments in any of the Rings movies and it is down to the actors. Both are magnificent here.

The movie ends in similar fashion to Return of the King with the hobbit going back to the Shire. It fades into the future and we hear Gandalf knocking at the door and suddenly we're knee deep into Fellowship of the Ring: "what about very old friends?" Whenever I watch this movie I always feel like I can watch more and I'm hoping the extended edition will give me my fill. It also does what a prequel should, makes you want to watch the next installment. There's a certain other prequel out there that shall remain nameless that makes me want to cry for the damage it does to its legacy. Thankfully, The Hobbit was never in any danger of that.

Final Thoughts: Thrilling from first frame to the last, it never lets up. My only complaint is that there isn't more of it: 10/10.
                                                     

Defending The Hobbit Trilogy (The Desolation Of Smaug Edition)

The Desolation Of Smaug is the best reviewed of the three Hobbit movies but, for me at least, it is the weakest. That's not to say that it is a bad movie. It is, in fact, a very good one but after the majesty of its predecessor and the exuberance of its successor, it is the proverbial rock in the hard place... but what a rock it turns out to be.

                                                            Beorn Again
After a brief (and entertaining) piece of back story featuring a conversation between Gandalf and Thorin in Bree, our heroes find themselves being hunted by more than just Azog the Defiler. Beorn, who is a shape shifter, is also on the prowl. He is basically a giant bear and has no control over his hunger when he's in this form. The company cannot outrun Azog and his band of Orcs so they decide to make for Beorn's home. They make it, just about, but it is the giant bear who nearly catches them. When we meet Beorn the next morning, he is chopping wood with the biggest axe I've ever seen. He's a huge bulk of a man and the fx team do a great job of making him look "bear-ish" but I have to give, well, props to the props department. They've always gone the extra mile for PJ and this movie is no different. The detail in Beorn's house is astounding. It's actually worth pausing the movie just to look around. There's a chess board with large pieces which you probably never noticed and if you look into Bilbo's treasure chest back in the Shire, you'll see one of the chess pieces from Beorn's board... burglar indeed! Beorn reluctantly decides to help the company. He hates Dwarves but he hates Orcs even more... enemy of my enemy I suppose. He turns up at the end of the trilogy but it is in this movie where we get to know him a little and it's a treat.

                                                      Tauriel and Legolas
Right, let's get this shit out of the way. There is no getting around the fact that Peter Jackson has entered the realm of fan fiction here. Tauriel is a completely made up character and Legolas wasn't in the book at all. I'll deal with the Legolas situation first. Saruman, Galadrial and Elrond all show up at various times in this trilogy and nobody bats and eyelid. Legolas is brought in "and everybody loses their minds". Granted, Legolas gets more screen time than the others but the reaction was vitriolic in the extreme. I've always enjoyed Legolas. His stoicism, his acrobatics and his penchant for cutting to the chase have always been a huge plus. I was excited to see what he'd get up to here and I wasn't disappointed.

Tauriel, if anything, took even more shit from fanbitches. They just hated her. Right out of the gate she got shit from all sides. You can call me shallow (and you'd be right) but having a gorgeous Elf-maiden kicking Orc ass and giving Legolas a run for his money in the "cool kill" stakes works for me. Also, there's just a lot of guys in these movies. A woman was needed. Whether you like her or not is subjective. I was and remain, a fan. The much maligned love triangle between Tauriel, Legolas and Kili isn't as bad as the critics suggest. I was on board with it for a long time. I did stop caring about it in the thrid movie but by and large it was a fun addition to the story and Desolation needed something like this just for a change of pace.

                                                             Speaking of Pace
                      
                                  

Where to start with the Elf Lord of the Woodland Realm? Played brilliantly by Lee Pace, Thranduil is father to Legolas and general badass of the Woodland Elves. He's not too fond of the Dwarves as they made him bow to them when they found they all powerful Arkenstone in Erebor. It's mutual of course as Thranduil got a large measure of revenge when Smaug attacked. He just put the popcorn on and watched. Thranduil's only concern, it seems, is that of his people and to that end, he has worked absolute wonders. As per Thranduil's instructions, the Woodland Elves are completely hidden from all and sundry in Middle Earth and while they protect their own borders from the evils of Middle Earth they care not a jot about the issues beyond their realm. It's fair to say that the Elves live in relative luxury. Even their holding cells look like half decent accomodation:

Thranduil is such a fantastic character. He looks like the exact opposite of Azog but he actually shares some traits with the pale Orc. Thanduil just fucking loves feeling superior. He leads his people with an iron fist and, like Azog, has been badly wounded in battle. Unlike Azog, Thranduil hides his scars with his considerable power. He is vain but I feel like he uses this as a weapon. If you look the part, you are the part. As the trilogy progresses, we find there is more to Thranduil than meets the eye. He has layers, you just have to dig... very deeply. A superb character!

                                                       My Mirkwood Nightmare
I'm afraid of spiders. Total arachnophobe! When I went to see Return of the King I did so knowing at some point I was going to be knee deep in Shelob's Lair and I was seriously on edge. Shelob came and went and came back again. Sam dealt with her and it was stunning cinema. I, apparently, turned white and I got the sweats. The cold sweats of fear. This time I went in knowing at some point the spiders of Mirkwood would be on me. I did my best to steady my fear but it didn't work. This is one of those scenes that Jackson had to get right. Guillermo del Toro, who was initially going to direct these movies, has a bit of an obsession with the spider scene from the Hobbit so it's no surprise that much of his input survived for this scene. The colours in the forest are all very trippy and it was his idea to make it look that way. Peter Jackson is also an arachnophobe and he knows exactly what buttons to push... the ones that scare him the most. Make no mistake about it, this scene was absolutely nailed by the film makers and I, again, felt the cold sweats. At one point I jumped and yelped so noisily in the cinema that people laughed at me... Amazing scene and it's great to see a tougher side of Bilbo when one of the spiders goes after the ring.

                                                              Barrel of Laughs
The more I think about The Hobbit, the more I become aware of how chock full of legendary scenes the book truly is. The famous "Barrels Out of Bond" scene is another much loved section of the book but truth be told, it's way more charming than exciting. Given that this is a Peter Jackson movie you just knew this was going to be one of those elaborate action scenes that you either love him or hate him for. I was actually a little worried about this scene as I just felt it didn't need the over the top PJ touch. How wrong was I. Once in the barrels the company flow with the tide and are pretty much immediately pursued by Elves. A gate is closed, blocking the Dwarven escape route and suddenly Azog's Orcs turn up to take down the company. Of course the Elves and the Orcs clash and a quite brilliant spectacle begins. Kili gets the gate open but takes "an arrow to the knee"... no really, he does. It's poisonous too so, bummer. Tauriel and Legolas absolutely decimate the Orc party but more and more keep on coming. Our Dwarves continue down stream they are pursued by Orcs and Elves who continue to wade into each other and there must be scores of "holy shit" moments that literally take your breath away as the scene goes on. This scene was meant to be the end of part one when this was a two movie project. I'm not sure how that would have played out but in the trilogy it plays out perfectly. The company get out of the Woodland Realm. Unbeknownst to Legolas, Thorin saves him with a well placed throw of a sword (Legolas returns the favour in the next movie) and eventually the company bump into another solid addition to the growing list of characters.

                                                            Good Evans, it's Laketown
Our band of merry Dwarves must find a way to Laketown without Gandalf who is off to Dol Guldur to follow up on Radagast's findings. And so we meet Bard (Luke Evans). As you know, Bard is left to battle Smaug in the next movie so it is only right that he gets some character development in this one. He smuggles the Dwarves into Laketown and it is here that the movie starts to slip a little. Don't get me wrong, Laketown is a wonderful set and Howard Shore's Laketown score is quality but the movie gets bogged down in the boring politics of Laketown for far too long. It would have been better served to follow the book in this instance as the Dwarves are welcomed into Laketown by the Master. Here though, The Master played by one of my favourites, Stephen Fry is a bit of a dick. He is self serving, he hates Bard and has no real redeeming features. It's all very "Master is rich so he bad, Bard is poor so he good" which is a little annoying. There's some solace to be found in Alfrid Littlespittle, another made up character by Jackson, who is The Master's closest counselor. Meanwhile Bard figues out what the Dwarves are planning so he seeks out a "black arrow" just in case. He ends up being imprisoned by Alfrid for blah blah blah I don't care! Laketown does feature some spectacular action sequences as Legolas and Tauriel track a gang of Orcs to Bard's home and kill most of them in various creative ways. Tauriel abandons Legolas to save Kili with Kingsfoil brought to her by Bofur. But really, whenever I watch this movie I can't wait for Thorin, Bilbo and the rest to get out of the place and make for the Mountain.

                                                     "It is Undoubtedly a Trap"
While Laketown left me fairly cold, Gandalf's escapades had just the opposite effect. In The High Fells ( I think the high fells are another PJ addition but am open to being corrected) he finds that the Nazgul tombs are empty. The "Nine" are risen again and are out! Not an awful lot happens here but the scenery is magnificent. Gandalf is joined by Radagast and they decide to split. Gandalf tells Radagast to warn Galadrial and heads to Dol Guldur. Here he finds Thorin's father, Thrain (in the extended edition) as well as Azog's army and boy was I happy to see Azog. He immediately attacks Gandalf and their exchange is excellent. It shows Azog is fearless and powerful in his own way. He backs down from nothing! Gandalf and Thrain make a run for it as the numbers are against them but they run into Sauron. This pulsating scene sees the end of Thrain and Galdalf is left to face Sauron alone. He fights for all he is worth but the grey pilgrim is no match for Sauron. He soon finds himself in a rusty cage. Defeated! It's an AMAZING scene and it shows how strong Sauron has become. It also leads to a brilliant battle in the next movie...
                           
                                                       "I am Not my Grandfather"           
Say what you will about Jackson but even if you're not a fan of these movies, you must admit that the man litters the movies with some quite beautiful shots. My favourite one in this movie comes at the end of an exchange between Balin and Thorin. Balin can see a change in Thorin and it's not for the better. He warns Thorin that there's a sickness in the mountain and that it drove Thorin's grandfather mad. Thorin's responds, "I am not my grandfather" but as he says that... well just look at this gorgeous shot: 

It's not just the symmetry with Thror's face beside him, it's the look of sadness in Thorin's eyes. There's a resignation about him. He has to do this and I suspect on some level he knows Balin is right. It's perfect!! Perfect shot, perfect acting! Love it!
                                         
                                                 "These movies don't half Dragon"
As mentioned above I'm not big on the Laketown segment of this movie. I think it slows everything down to a crawl and it takes a while to get us back on the rollercoaster. When we get to the mountain, business picks up right quick. Once inside, the Dwarves abandon their burglar to his fate. To face the Dragon, Smaug, and somehow take back the Arkenstone. When The Hobbit was announced, the first thing I thought of was: Dragon! Like the Riddles scene, the Mirkwood scene and the Barrel scene, Smaug needed to be a sight to behold! Once again, PJ and his fx team deliver the goods. Smaug is amazing and is voiced deliciously visciously by Benedict Cumberbatch! A genius move. He adds a menace to Smaug that is palpable but there's clearly a sociopath and megalomaniac in there too all of which make him tremendous fun. Hs battle of wits with Bilbo is glorious. He senses something about Bilbo, "something made of gold but far more.... precious". Freeman is again on superb form in the scene. He plays the fool to perfection and it is clear that Smaug knows he's no fool but finds him entertaining nonetheless. He almost apologises when he finally decides to bring Bilbo to his end. Of course Bilbo uses the ring and gets the hell out of there. A quietly menacing scene with Thorin follows in which the Dwarf draws his sword on Bilbo asking about the Arkenstone. Smaug inevitably attacks and another one hundred mile an hour action sequence begins. The Dwarves find what's left of the kin they left in the mountain after Smaug's attack. It is sad and it gives you a sense of doom. How are they going to get out of this? Of course Thorin finds a way to defeat the Dragon, or so he thinks. Pouring boiling hot gold over the fire-drake only serves to annoy Smaug and the movie ends with a furious Dragon heading for Laketown (he can smell the town on the Dwarves) for a bit of fire ejaculation.      
       

Final Thoughts: First time I saw this, I fell in love with it. For the most part it holds up and only comes unstuck in Laketown 8/10.                

Defending The Hobbit Trilogy (An Unexpected Journey Edition)

Let me preface this by saying that I know the Hobbit movies are not perfect. This blog, like the movies, will go on a bit. I'm also going to assume you've seen the movies so there won't be much in the way of plot explanation. If you've started reading this and haven't seen the movies. STOP!!! Watch them, they're great.

                                                              Adapt Or Die
Let's address the Oliphaunt in the room. The changes from book to screen. They are many, they are large and I am not going to get hung up on them because this is an ADAPTATION. Suffice to say "All good stories deserve embellishment." Whether people like it or not, the story was always going to have to, ya know, adapt to film. In fairness, Jackson uses much of Tolkien's appendicies to flesh out the story and all of this is welcome. We all know the book is a great bit of whimsy. Rare is the movie that is a straight adaptation of a book. Things that work in books don't always fly in movies. Because of this, The Hobbit comes in for a lot of Tolkien fanboy pounding. Given how some folk reacted you'd swear The Hobbit was the first movie to make major changes from book to film. Of course, this is not the case. (Google Jaws book to movie changes for fun times)

After the huge success of the Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit was always going to be a "link up" set of movies and it succeeds as such. Should it have been two movies as originally planned? Maybe. There's certainly a strong case for it. But given the near $3bn in box office returns, there was clearly an appetite for three movies.

                                                          Unexpected Issues
The Shire has long been a place of fond memories for us Rings fans. It starts out the same way in The Hobbit as Bilbo sits down to write his book and shares some screen time with Frodo. This is most welcome indeed and reminds us of all those lovely scenes from Fellowship. After a very exciting Erebor backstory narrated by a reminiscing Bilbo (played by the incomparable Ian Holm) the "Good morning" scene kicks in and we remain charmed. However the tone changes when, later that night, a seemingly endless stream of Dwarves show up along with Gandalf and they are hungry. Poor Bilbo has no idea what is happening and it is here that Jackson drops the ball. Attempts at humour fall, mostly, flat and only about half of the Dwarves are interesting leaving quite a few you could easily do without. Out of the thirteen that show up only Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, Kili, Fili, Gloin and maybe Dori are genuiely interesting. The rest get their moments in the trilogy, James Nesbitt's Bofur has a couple of nice scenes but for the most part the aformentioned seven are where it's at.

An Unexpected party ensues and it's pretty fucking terrible stuff. I was genuinely worried when our band of merry Dwarves started singing about Bilbo's cutlery. Of course, Tolkien's books are full of songs and poems but this is one scene that should not have even been filmed.

It is a little unfair to place Radagast The Brown in the "issues" section as he becomes a good character as the movies progress. However, given the mixed bag that the early part of AUJ is, I feel like Radagast's intro needed to be stronger. We find the Istari in the forest trying to save a hedgehog. Ugh! Anyway he gets back to his house and uses his magic to find out why the hedgehog is sick. As he does this his home is attacked by spiders. Radagast saves the hedgehog and the spiders go back to the depths of Mirkwood (you'd asssume). It's a pretty dull scene. If this is all that's wrong with Middle Earth then call Rentokill.

                                                  Expected Acting Excellence
It's worth mentioning at this point that, from a very early point in the movie it becomes obvious that Martin Freeman is a fucking genius. His performance is absolutely top drawer. His comedic timing is wonderful and his scenes with Sir Ian McKellen are both funny and essential as they fill the movie with a warmth that pops off the screen and wrap this viewer in a security blanket of joy!

McKellen is so at home playing Gandalf by now that we're almost underwhelmed by his brilliance. Almost.

Richard Armitage as Thorin is also highly watchable. He is a bit "one note" initially, but it's a good note and, like Radagast, he mproves as the movies progress. He also has a decent singing voice. This scene more than makes up for the "Blunt the Forks" shite. Misty Mountains Cold sets a foreboding tone that hints at later tragedies in the trilogy:

                                                            Azog's Gripe
Movies like this need strong bad guys! My favourite of the bunch is Azog. He's just so happy to be evil that you can't help but enjoy the chap's attitude. He fucking hates Thorin because the Dwarf who would be King took his arm off in the battle for Moria. Mind you this was in response to Azog taking Thorin's grandfather's head so, ya know... swings and roundabouts. No chance of them "hugging it out" here, this is pure hatred on both sides. Thorin has convinced himself that Azog "slunk back into the hole whence he came" and "died of his wounds long ago". This is clearly denial and it shows that Thorin fears Azog the Defiler. He is right to.

Sauron hasn't gone full eye tower yet but his power is growing and rapidly. He appears to Radagast in Dol Guldur as a kind of wraith and there's a menace about him. It's a nice little portent of things to come not just in this trilogy but the Lord of the Rings also.

Radagast knows something is fucked in Denmark and, as mentioned above, he goes to Dol Guldur to see what is going on. In a scene which helps us get on board with the little forest wizard, the Witch-King of Angmar appears and attacks him with a Morgul blade. The Nazgul is too weak to continue the fight and Radagast is able to take the morgul blade from him. It's a nice adrenaline pumper. Again, like Sauron above it sets the scene for later adrenaline filled confrontations.

                                              "Look Frodo, it's Mr. Bilbo's trolls"
The much loved troll scene is so embedded in fantasy folklore that it needed to be nailed. Thankfully it is a success. Great work again from Freeman leads to an exciting rescue by Gandalf. The special fx are again terrific here. Each of the trolls have different personalities and characteristics. When they finally turn to stone, it looks exactly how you'd imagine someone turning to stone would look... I think. One criticism aimed at these movies is they cost twice as much as the Lord of the Rings but look half as good. This is preposterous. There are obvious improvements in fx, especially in creature fx and Rivendell seems richer too. The reason these movies cost so much more is because back in 2000 you had no idea who WETA were? You knew who ILM were, but WETA? Nope. Now, since their amazing work in the Lord ofthe Rings trilogy, King Kong etc etc everyone knows who they are and that's fair enough. They are the best fx house in the world and if you want the best you're going to pay for it. It was money well spent in my opinion.

                                                       "This Way You Fools"
Having tracked down Gandalf and the company, Radagast leads a party of Orcs away from our heroes in a very exciting scene. It's another sequence that endears you to the little Istari and his Rhosgobel Rabbits pulling him on his sleigh are a sight to behold. It's another PJ addition to the movie that rubbed many the wrong way. I've no time to be bothered by such insignificant additions. In fact, they are a hugely enjoyable part of this excellent chase scene which also features Wargs and Orcs. The company escape to the refuge of Rivendell. Of course the Dwarves are not happy to be in the company of Elves but they stay on the promise of food...
Lord Elrond (not in the book) questions Gandalf about Thorin and his crew. Gandalf is reluctant to say why it is he is in such company but finally cracks when he's led to a meeting with Saruman the White (not in the book) and Lady Galadrial (not in the book). It is a scene that brings the story threads together. Gandalf explains his actions and his fears. Saruman is unimpressed but Lady Galadrial believes in him. She also figures out that Gandalf is buying time for the Dwarves to leave Rivendell and continue the quest. She's impressed and we see a half smile. It's a wonderfully subtle moment between Gandalf and Galadrial. These powerhouse actors play the scene pitch perfectly. Galadrial and Gandalf have grown closer, something which pisses a lot of people off but again, I love it! It all leads to one of my favourite scenes, not just in An Unexpected Journey but in all of cinema. McKellen makes me tear up every single time! Look out for the hands at the end of the scene, it is something that is played on again in The Battle of the Five Armies:

                                 
And so the movie rips along. The dwarves stumble into a fight between stone giants. Another great spectacle ends with our company taking refuge in a mountain crevice. Unfortunately this leads them to the Goblin Kingdom where Bilbo becomes separated from them. The company are once again rescued by Gandalf and a truly memorable action sequence takes place. "To arms" shouts Gandalf and the dwarves find themselves in a fight to the death against a huge army of Goblins. Peter Jackson let's the camera off the noose here and some fantastic cinema ensues. Oooh and aaah moment after moment but even more thrilling is Bilbo's encounter with a Middle Earth legend.

                                                         Riddles in the Dark
Talk about pressure! This is maybe the most famous and loved piece of all of the stories of Middle Earth. It's one of the many jewels in Tolkien's crown. This needed to be perfect. Not good. Not great... PERFECT!!! Peter jackson, Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman are more than up to the task. The scene is a fucking doozie. I'll never tire of it. The riddles, the humour and the mixture of sympathy and revulsion that you feel whenever Gollum is on screen. And how could I forget Howard fucking Shore!? We all remember the music from the scene in Fellowship when Frodo and Gandalf discuss Bilbo's treatment of Gollum. Frodo wondering why Bilbo didn't kill him. Gandalf explaining it was "pity that stayed his hand". We get to see this scene played out superbly by the actors and then the same beautiful music kicks in and all the wounds/memories we took from the Mines of Moria re-open as Bilbo shows Gollum mercy. Cinematic gold! It's worth noting Gollum looks better than ever here. There have been technological advances in special fx and they are evident here.

So the company escape the Goblin cave and Bilbo gains the Ring of Power from Gollum. The movie ends on another excellent sequence where Azog and his band of orcs seemingly have the company trapped. Thorin faces off against Azog but is less successful this time, Azog's Warg takes Thorin down and is about to feast on him when Bilbo saves Thorin with a spectacular show of courage. He launches himself at the Warg and Sting in hand, he faces the enormous creature. All seems lost but Gandalf has requested aid from the Eagles. They arrive just in time and deliver everyone from certain death. They leave the company on a mountain that resembles a bear (set up for Beorn). It's a truly gorgeous sight to behold. Thorin cannot believe he is alive and he thanks Bilbo profusely, thus solidifying the hobbit's status among the group.

Final thoughts: A few early missteps are absolutely dwarfed (ahem) by some dazzling sequences and superb acting from messers Freeman and McKellen. 9/10.