Defending The Hobbit Trilogy (The Battle of the Five Armies Edition)

Before we start this there are people who can't work out who the "Five Armies" are in this movie. Seriously, What. The. Fuck?! Army number one: Thranduil's army. Army number 2: Dain's army. Army number 3: Bard's army. Army number 4: Azog's army. Army number 5: Bolg's army. Honestly folks, they're right there!!! Maybe they're confused by the book, I dunno...

Anyway, we've come to the final installment of "Defending The Hobbit Trilogy". The Battle of the Five Armies left many critics cold: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_hobbit_the_battle_of_the_five_armies/?search=battle  but for me and many others, it is the strongest entry. The lukewarm critical response didn't hurt the box office though with nearly $1bn taken in ticket returns. There's much to love here, starting with the destruction of Laketown...

                                                      "I am Fire, I am Death"
The Desolation of Smaug ended with one very pissed off dragon hell bent on the destruction of Laketown. As I stated in the previous blog, I was not a big fan of Laketown and I cannot lie, there was somewhat of a perverse enjoyment in watching Smaug absolutely decimate the place. The cinematic experience of the scene was quite something. I went to see it on our IMAX screen and it felt like I was part of a really terrifying theme park ride. I then saw it in 2D where I felt like I was bearing witness to the destruction and that, while different, was way more emotionally impactful. Smaug's wrath is "swift and terrible". Bard manages to escape prison and make for one of the few towers still standing in Laketown. Armed with a bow and arrow, he repeatedly hits the dragon but is having little effect. His son appears with the last black arrow in town and of course, against all odds, Bard takes down Smaug with the kind of one in a million shot that heretofore was reserved for Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars. Fire and death indeed, Smaug's last living moments are interesting. He flies high and is desperately clinging to life. There's a look of shock and panic in his eye and then... there isn't. His descent is beautifully shot and PJ's dark humour ends the scene as the doomed beast lands on Laketown's greedy master. Avarice killing him as much as the dragon and this is a running theme throughout this movie.

                                              Bilbo, Bargaining, Burgling and Bonding
Battle of the Five Armies features many huge scenes of destruction, horror, bravery and valour. These scenes would mean nothing if the characters involved weren't likeable. It is Bilbo Baggins who keeps this movie grounded. His love for and admiration of Thorin is obvious. He loves him so much that he is forced to betray him. Having burgled the Arkenstone from Smaug he hands it over to Thranduil hoping he will bargain with Thorin and bring an end to war before it begins. This scene is dripping with humour and Thranduil reminding Bilbo of his actions in the Elven realm is wonderful. He is both annoyed and impressed by the hobbit. Bard is just impressed. It is a valiant but doomed effort and Thorin's response to finding out what Bilbo has done is heart wrenching. He cannot believe Bilbo would steal from him. Of course Thorin is deep in "Dragon sickness".  He cannot see that Bilbo is trying to save Thorin from himself. He is devastated when Thorin tries to kill him. A clearly upset Bilbo escapes but his love for Thorin never diminishes. Thorin gets a chance to apologise to Bilbo at the end of the movie and it is heartbreaking. Again, the emotional impact of these scenes are what keep me watching. I love the grandiose spectacle and the camera moving in ways I never thought possible but it is the relationships that keep me invested. Bilbo and Thorin's friendship is a beautiful thing that stays with you long after the movie ends.

                                                             "Leave Sauron To Me"  
There's a scene pretty early on in this movie which is loved and loathed in equal measure by fans. Radagast has managed to get word to Galadrial that all is not well in Dol Guldur. By the time she gets there, Gandalf is about to be executed. She saves a barely conscious Gandalf but is set upon by the nine Nazgul. Luckily, Galadrial is joined by Elrond and Saruman leading to a wonderful fight sequence. Elrond and Saruman deal with the nine... until Sauron makes himself known. There is a very subtle piece of acting by Christopher Lee when he appears. You can see fear in the white wizard's eyes and his body language is almost cowering. Radagast is about to get Gandalf out of harm's way but he has Galadrial's hand (remember the scene they shared in first movie) and he asks her to come with him. She is clearly tempted but manages to refuse the charms of the grey pilgrim. Radagast gets him out of Dol Guldur and Galadrial fucking loses her shit. She goes all "Ringu" and in a spectacular show of strength she banishes Sauron to the east. Saruman orders Elrond to take her to Lothlorien as she is severely weakend by the encounter. The scene ends with Saruman's foreboding words: "Leave Sauron to me"... yeah that's gonna go well! I'll always remember my wife's words the first time we saw that scene together: "that was awesome". I wholeheartedly agree and I'm not really sure what people have against the scene, nor do I care. It's so great seeing these characters actually doing something as apposed to talking about doing something.

                                                         Framing The Five Armies
One of the issues critics had with this movie in particular was the use of CGI. Viggo Mortenson recently came out against the use of CGI and before slating The Hobbit he spoke of its use in the Rings movies: "The second movie already started ballooning, for my taste, and then by the third one, there were a lot of special effects. It was grandiose, and all that, but whatever was subtle, in the first movie, gradually got lost in the second and third." Subtlety?! How the fuck would you have filmed the charge of the Rohirrim in Return of the King? Or the charge of the Olyphaunts? This isn't Braveheart! There are creatures and vast numbers involved in these battles! I suppose you'd have used an actual giant spider for Shelob too, yeah? But we're here to defend The Hobbit and the armies look truly stunning here. Again, I'm not sure what the alternative to this is and I think it all looks amazing:

                                                   
                                                     Leaders of the Five Armies
Thranduil: Thranduil is never anything less than awesome. He and his Elf army are sure of themselves. Defeat is not an option. Thranduil's skill in battle are immense. Seated on his elk he slices through Orcs like they are going out of fashion. But he also plays the pragmatist in this movie. Gandalf, for all his good intentions has brought this doom on Middle Earth. "You started this Mithrandir, you will forgive me if I finish it". Gandalf has no response because it's true. He also has to let Legolas go which is hard for him and you can see it in his eyes. "Your mother loved you Legolas, more than anyone, more than life". Coming from Thranduil it carries so much weight and it is a sad moment. He also has to suffer the Tauriel/Kili horribleness at the end of the movie. It's not as bad as the hate it's getting from some but it is a bit over the top. Thranduil's sympathy for Tauriel is palpable and you feel like he will take her back to the realm and help her come back to herself. Lee Pace was perfect casting by the film makers and I absolutely love what he brought to the character.
Azog the Defiler: Oh Azog. I just adore him. There's no layers here. There's no moments of reflection. There's just a really bad Orc who wants your blood and he wants it now. Tactically, he doesn't make any errors in the battle. He usues his forces very well and holds Bolg's army back as an ace up the sleeve. It should have worked. But you cannot legislate for the heart of a Hobbit or the stubborness of a Dwarf. Manu Bennet was the man they chose to play Azog. I think he made what could have been a stock villain, highly memorable. Props must also go to the fx crew for adding their layers of menace to Azog, including his Warg. Amazing!
Bard: Bard is a nice sort of chap. Tough and gallant. Firm but fair. Alas he is just ever so slightly boring. He never says anything surprising and always takes the high road. He leads his men with a quiet dignity and the Elven King takes a shine to him but there's not really anything more to say about the chap... he's nice.
Dain: Dain is cousin to Thorin and is your typical loud mouth Dwarf who is happiest putting an axe into an enemy. There's not a lot of screen time for him but what we get is fun and watching him headbutt all around him, while cheesy, is also amusing. He's not as inspiring as Thorin but I'd rather have a pint with him if you get me.
Bolg: Bolg is like "diet Azog". His job is to bring a second Orc army in to clean up after Azog's does its damage. He also gets embroiled in a conflict with Legolas, leading to some excellent fight sequences. He doesn't lack for guts but he's not the brightest spark. His death scene never ceases to make me laugh.
                                                     Battles, Loss and Redemption
Given the title of this movie, the actual war had to deliver. While it doesn't reach Two Towers levels of awesome, it's still a roaring success. There are many standout moments, may favourite being the moment the Elves and the Dwarves join together in spectacular fashion to take on the approaching Orcs. Thranduil is, for me, the baddest of the bunch. He takes more lives than the fucking plague in this movie and I'm actually sad he wasn't in Lord of the Rings. Trolls are also used to thunderous effect. Remember this guy:

If you can't find humour in the above clip I feel sorry for you. Earth eaters, wargs and bats all make appearences and it's just thrilling cinema. The bats are brought in to help Azog but actually end up doing more harm than good as Legolas uses one to help him get back in the fight. Legolas has long been a gravity defier and he's on top form here. If you can buy him taking down an Olyphaunt single handedly, there's no reason to doubt his trickery here. He's a killing machine and he learns from his battle with Bolg in Laketown and uses this knowledge to kill the Orc.

Finally, Thorin shakes off the Dragon sickness and emerges from the mountain to save Dain's army and the remaining Elves from certain death. Kili, Fili and Dwalin then follow Thorin up the mountain to go after Azog directly. There's a lot of loss in this battle and it is sad to see Kili and Fili fall. But my focus is always on Thorin. He was always going to be put in front of Azog and they were going to fight to the death. Again, it needed to deliver the goods and I'm pleased to say it does. Azog looks in control for most of the fight but Thorin has beaten him before by using his wits and his courage. The same thing happens here to a degree. Using Azog's enormous mace as a counter weight on the ice is a genius move, a genuinely surprising twist in the fight. Eventually Azog kills Thorin but in doing so at such close quarters, he's within Thorin's range. So while Thorin doesn't win the fight he makes damn sure Azog doesn't either and they die together. It is at this point that Bilbo appears. He runs to his dying friend and Thorin, though dying is so happy to see him. It's such a sad scene. Thorin tells Bilbo he is sorry and Bilbo's heart breaks. His friend is dying and there's nothing he can do... Unbelievably sad, right up there with any of the sad moments in any of the Rings movies and it is down to the actors. Both are magnificent here.

The movie ends in similar fashion to Return of the King with the hobbit going back to the Shire. It fades into the future and we hear Gandalf knocking at the door and suddenly we're knee deep into Fellowship of the Ring: "what about very old friends?" Whenever I watch this movie I always feel like I can watch more and I'm hoping the extended edition will give me my fill. It also does what a prequel should, makes you want to watch the next installment. There's a certain other prequel out there that shall remain nameless that makes me want to cry for the damage it does to its legacy. Thankfully, The Hobbit was never in any danger of that.

Final Thoughts: Thrilling from first frame to the last, it never lets up. My only complaint is that there isn't more of it: 10/10.