Wednesday 8 April 2015

Same Sex Marriage. I’m a Yes man!

Geek has been saying far too much recently. I’m a Dad now so it’s time to man up. What kind of world is the lad coming into?



It’s not great at the moment truth be told. At its worst ISIS have taken to throwing gay men from the top of buildings for the crime of being themselves. More worrying is the amount of people who flood the streets of Syria to observe this as if it were entertainment. We here in Ireland are quite rightly sickened by this level of depravity and it is very easy to look down on these vermin but we must always look to ourselves first. Okay, we’ve cleared the ISIS bar. Great, well done us. My concern is this: As it stands, if my son is gay, grows upand falls in love with a man he will not be able to marry that man. If I have another child and they are straight, they will be able to get married. How the fuck is that fair?

As May 22nd approaches, the referendum for same sex marriage looms large. Right out of the gate let me say I am voting YES. This is an equality issue and we need to send a message to bigots in this country. Bigots, you see, are loud folk and their bloviations can quickly become lasting, storm force attacks on common sense. Some of them get so riled up that they, rather hilariously, end up saying the exact opposite of what they wanted to say:



There are others who will vote no and will want to distance themselves from the lunatic ramblings of the chap above. Some of them will even say it’s a cheap shot using this man as the voice of the No campaign. Here’s the thing, I’ve not heard one common sense argument from the no side that made me stop or even hesitate for a second and think maybe I’m making a mistake. Not once! All I’ve heard is hatred, misogyny, ill informed opinions, lies, assumptions, conclusions drawn from fear, straight up craziness and a tragic lack of understanding that I can only assume comes from an archaic education system crippled under the weight of Catholicism. For the record, our little guy will be going to an Educate Together school. There won’t be any christening either. We will not be forcing a religion on the lad. If he wants to enter into it when he’s older that will be his choice and his alone.
I mentioned the crazy agruments against Same Sex Marriage before without getting into specifics. I give you No vote advocate Bishop Kevin Doran: http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/religion-and-beliefs/bishop-opposed-to-same-sex-marriage-struggled-with-sexuality-1.2132250 Staggering, isn’t it. But should we really be surprised? Maybe someone should remind the chap that according to his book, Jesus had two dads… Joseph and God. That’s right priests, let that shit sink in!

But back to our “no vote” friends. “Family values” is a phrase that gets bandied about usually by religious types. These people love a soundbite. They’ll frequently launch into a chorus of ”marriage is between a man and a woman” and they are constantly trying to claim marriage as a religious institution. It isn’t. Holy matrimony is a religious term. Marriage by its very definition is entirely different. Here’s the google definition for you internet kids: “the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship.” No mention of religion, nor should there be. This isn’t a snipe at religious people. Carry on, be religious but you don’t own marriage! For the record I enjoy the privilige of being married to an amazing woman. We did it in a registry office because we’re not religious. Gay people should be afforded this basic human right.

I should add that there are many people of faith out there who will be voting yes. Most of these people are private about their faith and I have nothing but respect for them. I am less private about my belief system. People think I’m an athiest because I despise all forms of organized religion but I’m not. I have no idea what’s out there and if there is anything out there I doubt I’ll ever understand it. That’s where I stand. I believe in what I can observe. I believe in what I can prove and most importantly I believe we have to treat each other with respect. Equality is an obvious part of that.

Some people believe that two people of the same sex getting married will somehow be the end of the family in Ireland as we know it. I can only hope! Too many families have been torn apart by alcoholism and/or domestic violence in this country. This nation has many shames, one of which is the drinking problem that we have allowed to become acceptable and even normal! Women still face shocking levels of inequality in this country. This ugliness presents itself in a number of ways. They’re still paid less than men for the same work and the worst example of all, domestic violence which continues to happen in front of children. The idea that a child would be better off being raised by a man and a woman in an abusive household as apposed to a gay couple in a loving relationship is ludicrous. And if anyone thinks that there are no children being raised by same sex couples in this country already, they are deluded. While I’m on that subject, here’s a scenario for you: Woman gets pregnant. She has a baby.  She falls in love with another woman. They have a civil union. They raise the child together. Let’s say five years later the biological mother dies. In this scenario, her partner would have no legal rights of guardianship and a grandparent would have legal authority to take the child if they wanted to. In that scenario a parent is being told thanks for your five years of service but we’ll take it from here. This must not be allowed to happen anymore.

I am pleased that the Taoiseach has been strong on this issue. He hasn’t got much right recently but credit where it’s due, he wants gays to have the same rights as everybody else. Many other politicians have been too scared to take a position and that is disappointing. Stop being so gutless! Take a position. And if that position is No, try to convince me that I’m wrong to vote Yes without claiming it will threaten anyone elses marriage. Or lead to a sudden outbreak of incest. Or threaten family values. I can assure you, straight folk will continue to get married. I look forward to attending some of these weddings in the future. They will continue to have children too. I can attest to that.
I shall let Colin Farrell have the last word. His brother is gay so he knows a bit about this:



Cheers,
G.

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